Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I won the penis lottery.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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