ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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