I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
