Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
