Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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