The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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