It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
