Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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