in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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