Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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