I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
