everyone is single if you try hard enough
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
