If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have post one night stand depression
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
