4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
