He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
