Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
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It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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