im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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