I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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