It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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