just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
