who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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