you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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