I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You made out with two different species that night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
