There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
