I'm gonna have a badass scar
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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