Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
