You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
