it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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