Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
