I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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