I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
