Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
