the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
