we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
