Whod you bang
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
