haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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