I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am one with the molecules
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
