its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
