the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize