already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
