i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
