By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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