I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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