If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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