There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
