i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dicks are not precious.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
