Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
