Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Houston, we have a blender
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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