i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You have to summon your inner elephant
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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