Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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