So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
