these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
