well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
a search helicopter?!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
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I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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