Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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