dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
