Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
