We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
