you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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