Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
