I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
