You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
