My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
